Sunday, November 06, 2005

The Expert

I've decided that I'm going to be an expert on terrorism. After watching alot of CNN Headline News (Robin & Co. is my daily regimen for skim the top of the barrel news AND the latest hair fashions for anchorwomen) it has become pretty clear that this job is much easier than any other job. Apparently all you have to do is make the occasional appearance on various news programs and say things like "We're looking into terrorism, and what we know so far is that terrorism can strike anywhere at anytime." Or you could say, "as an expert on terrorism, I can say that we should be alert, expect the unexpected." Or "we don't know much about these terrorists, or the acts of terrorism they may commit, but we can say, with certainty, that it is uncertain when or where the next act of terrorism will occur." Oh, and make sure that underneath your name it says "Terrorist Expert" as your title. This way everyone will know that you are clearly an expert on terrorism, even if you have no information on terrorism what-so-ever. I mean, after all, what good would terrorism do if people could actually become experts on it? USA! USA!


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